At this point in my life, the main thing that makes me happy is feeling more security with my situation, compared to nine months ago. Before the experiences of the last year I took many things for granted, like being able to wash, having accommodation and eating. Having had those things taken from me during my time of homelessness has given me a greater appreciation of simple things.
I lived in Thailand for almost ten years, up until June 2020. I overstayed my visa which made me nervous to even leave my home - it was a stressful and scary way to live. There was constant fear and tension of living with no status. I felt vulnerable and excluded from the society I had lived in happily for so long. In the end I made the decision to surrender myself to Thai immigration. I knew that I would be sent to the detention centre, but the only way I could see out of my situation was to go through it and I could not face living like that anymore.
Thankfully, I was repatriated to the UK after six weeks. But I had no home to return to, no one to contact for assistance, and no family able to assist. I returned to the UK knowing that I would be rough sleeping - but even this prospect was preferable to staying in the Bangkok immigration detention centre!
I experienced panic attacks and extremely vivid memories. I also strangely felt a sense of guilt that I was free whilst other people remained there. I felt at one point I would never be able to fully move on from this experience but with the assistance of my GP and a wonderful counsellor I was able to process and make sense of these feelings. These experiences have helped me grow as a person and gain a strength and determination that I did not possess before.
I am fortunate enough to now be housed in private accommodation after eight months of being in temporary accommodation, thanks to the help of my support workers at Thamesreach. I am now interested in starting a new role in social care and support, as I have been in receipt of such help, so I can bring an understanding and perspective to the role. I feel that my experience of incarceration and rough sleeping give me an insight into the hopes, fears and frustrations of those in a similar situation.
I’m excited have the chance to rebuild my life and to make new friends, and make the most of the second chance that I feel I have been given. Knowing that people will support me is inspiring and humbling. It’s inspiring that people would believe in me enough to give me the chance of a new start, and humbling that, during the difficult times we find ourselves in, people would choose to support me.